Loner

Ever felt like, even if you have the friends to talk to and the partner to share everything with your sill alone?

I guess a lot of things are better left unsaid  because when you know that the person you depend on at work the most thinks that you incapable, you start feeling like you wanna end it all... i know this person doesn't matter in your life, but then i am the kinda guy that gets hurt easily and tend to take things personally.  Well just remember, this person is given this responsibility just BECAUSE of me. I am the one who chose the person. Buddy you've been there for 4 years, and YES i got the job, hired from outside. Says something about your capabilities?

I have done enough. I need a break. If you know what i am talking about, then your probably working with me and know what i have done for the company. if not, well i'm just cribbing.

Trip to India.

It had been awhile since i have been to India. Recently i visited - Bengaluru, Hydarabad & Kerela. It was an experience to say the least. The visit to Bengaluru was for a wedding of an acquaintance's daughter. To understand Hindu weddings, you should know that in every part of India, the weddings take place in a different way which is what makes it exciting for me because i had not been to a wedding from this part of India.

The wedding in India was just perfect. It was the onset of the monsoon season but i had blast with the cool winds and the almost non-existent sun, which was a relief coming from Dubai. The worst part about  Bengaluru was the traffic. Let me put this in perspective now, a 40km trip took about 4 hrs. The hotel was not that far, but the traffic was horrendous. We were in the car for a better part of the day, longer than the flight from Dubai! This kinda cut into the sightseeing time! The kinds of food that we had during the wedding was just exemplary (not the right word, but can't think of the right one!). They served us breakfast, lunch and dinner on banana leaves which is the traditional way of eating the food. It was just perfect. All vegetarian food which, never once, made me miss the non-vegetarian food. 3 days later, it was time to fly down to cochin, on my first ever Indian low-cost carrier experience - Indigo! It was an experience to say the least! Enjoyed every moment, most probably due to the new aircraft i guess :) - there, thats the aviation geek in me kicking in, as i derail from the write-up at hand...

Upon landing in Cochin, the sun was striking down with no clouds in sight, yet there was a nice breeze which made it cool & comfortable. The ride to Kanjripally (where we would be staying) was about 4 hours, through the mountainous & narrow roads. It was just perfect! Natural waterfalls, greenery and then, the mist and the fog as we ascended into the mountains. We would be staying with family friends, who had a huge house in a farm, in the middle of the mountains! Again an experience not to be missed, there were trees all around, different plantations... Rubber trees, vegetable plantations... oh and the insects all around. Saw the unique touch-me-know plants, which upon touching, curl up and close. Also saw the glow-in-the-dark insects which was pretty cool. Had a lot of different kinds of food, including the famous Kerela fish curry which was spicy, as their speciality!! Also went on the House Boats which was really nice.

Finally, it was time to go towards Hydarabad! A city, with not a lot of traffic. I was impressed with the new airport. There was a lot of things to do in Hydarabad, but for me, it was time to relax there! Not to do a lot of things - except shop! Fun shopping time there. We were there for a very short time. Anyways, soon enough it was time to come back to Dubai, which i was dreading but had to come back to reality.

All in all, the trip to India was different, lots of good food and lots and lots of new things that i saw!

Oh it feels good to be back on the blog writing...

Fear, Laziness & Assumption

Fear has always grasped us... since the beginning of the world. You analyze your ambitions and determine the life you want to have. You always envision something but something seems to get in the way... could that be the fear? As humans we have ambitions and visions of what we want our life to be. Fear has a way of injecting something into our brains that stops us & tampers with our ability to achieve any goal. Because we as humans do everything to avoid pain or discomfort in our lives, we give into the fears that are fed by our subconscious. 

Over time the fear eats away into our self-confidence. You begin to come up with excuses why somethings just cant be done. You start feeling sorry for yourself, move towards depression and the self esteem in you takes a plunge. Well i can assure you this happens because i have been trough it, and to an extent am still in the middle of it. I have always wondered why i couldn't achieve a lot of things but also to blame everything on fear is just being a coward and taking no responsibilities for your actions. I want to achieve a lot of things, but in life, as anyone else, i have made a lot of wrong turns, wrong decisions. 

One example i can give, ever notice that you have no problems coming up with great, profitable ideas? You are convinced that this is the big one, the idea of all ideas! The moment you conceive your idea, the level of excitement surges within you. But as the days go by, the enthusiasm tapers off. This has happened to me. I can assure that its only only me around here who has experienced this!   

Unfortunately the people around you have heard you bring in so many ideas and you begin to develop a "talk and no action" reputation. This is again eroding into your self-confidence. Well would you blame that on fear or plain and simple laziness? 

We tend to blame things on everyone else except us. That is human nature. Sometimes things might simple to you, but did you ever stop and think, did i explain to the other person what to do? I might know what to do but why do i assume that the other person automatically knows what to do? One of the most simplest things i remember, is to never Assume beacause

Simple message, once you assume you make an ASS of U and ME. :-)

Childishness

After a long break i'm back to bother my mind to think and write :) What could i think of - Childishness. This comes to my mind because yesterday, one of my friend mentioned in passing that my blog is much more mature than what i am in real life. He does have a point. I am childish at times but this is the only part that keeps me sane in the stress of the daily chores. 

Sometimes, when i look at my niece and nephew who are 6 and 1 respectively, i wonder what it would be like to go back to that age. Troubles of the world seem to be the lest bit of your worries. Your more concentrated on how to break something or annoy someone :-)

Children normally fear nothing unless its their parents. They may be scared of something, but that is a different kind of fear. They look at things differently from us adults. This is something unique and something us adults forget to do. They see something unique and new every time, we see "been there, done that" kinda views. 

Being a child, you have the innocence that says everything has yet to be discovered. They don't really care about the safe, boring things. They need something exciting and fresh everyday to keep them entertain. We need to learn from them! As we become adults, we tend to take the same path over and over again because we feel comfortable. Sometimes we could take risk, but we chose not too!

Kids see the world through the eyes of someone that doesn't know the meaning of the words, "too far" or "some other time" While we grow up, we lose some of this innocence and somewhere we lose our unique identity to look at things with a different prospective. I agree that as adults we shouldn't act like kids, but hey, no one asked us to act as adults all the time. 

Without some childishness, life becomes mundane and boring on a daily basis. Shouldn't we all be able to act like children sometimes? In life; in love; in business? Does our fear of real life stop us from overcoming everything that's holding back our true success?

Do you remember the last time you thought, let me have honey smacks for breakfast without milk? Let me go into a toy store and check out the new toys they have for kids? When's the last tine you bought something that kids would use? When's the last time you acted like a child? 

Life as we know it....

Nope i am not talking about Katherine Heigl & Josh Duhamel's romantic comedy. This is more about life as we take it.. life, as we take it for granted! I always think, day in and day out... what could i have done different in my past, but never thought that life is what we make of it and today, i still have the power to change my life. 

Someone once told me not to have regrets in life, and maybe that statement did change me a bit. I learnt to appreciate every mistake i make. only by appreciating it will i learn from it. Well really, it doesn't stop there... gotta make the changes. Kind of a three step process. You make a mistake, your learn from it, you implement it and well DONT repeat it. Sounds easy, well it aint that easy, as most of us know. We tend to make the same stupid mistakes over and over again. 

We normally take life as a given, but never understand the complication associated with it. We never tend to value what was given to us as a gift. In this day and age, we live life in such a fast pace that we forget to appreciate the small things. We tend to pile on so many responsibilities as we grow older that we forget to just stop and think. Stop and say thank you. Stop and say a simple sorry. 

Someone gave me another advise, "live everyday as if it were your last." Now that i tend to disagree a bit because i believe that this might be leading us to the end of our lives... some people live only to have a "goodtime." I used to be like that, but i realized that life needs to be valued, not just live for the good times, but also the bad. Sometimes that "fun" and "goodtimes" are the things that might lead to the end of our lives... is the little fun really worth the end of our lives?

What about sunrise

What about the rain

What about all the things

That you said we were to gain....

Is there time

What about all the things

That you said was yours and mine...

Did you ever stop and notice?

Something i believe 

Lunch Conversations - Love Notes!

A few days back i was having lunch with colleagues and we were discussing the topic of love, which got me thinking about it. 

How did it start? Well, two of my staff who had been in a relationship for more than 10 months had an argument about an iron and decided to physically hurt each other. Now these are two girls beating each other up. Sure there are differences in any relationship, but i believe, no matter how angry or hurt you are by your other half doesn't give you the right to get physical and beat each other up. 

How many times have you asked your self that question? Or better yet, how many times have we said, "Oh! She is the one for me", or even "He is the right guy" after dating someone for two weeks? The problem is, we really don't know what love is... what does it really mean! "Love" is used as a passing word in every sentence we use. 

How did you know that you love someone within two weeks of dating someone? Love needs time to grow. Love is full of compromise. Love isn't about mushy, romantic evenings, expensive gifts, romantic dinners with champagne everyday! Love is about adjusting, understanding and many more things which we might not think are exciting. 

If you say that the person you have dated for a few weeks is the one your going to marry, welcome back to reality. Give it one year and i can assure you that you will be re-evaluating that decision. In this day and age, humans have evolved. We require space and time. We are no longer interested in our partner's progress but our own. We focus on our goal more often than focusing on our relationship. 

Someone might come back to me and say that i am wrong, but i never asked for an opinion. All i need you to do is close your eyes and think about it, do you really love your partner? or is it more about the human needs for just a companion when they are down and when your happy, well you really don't need the person because everyone will share your happiness but only that someone special will be next to you during your tough times. 

Love doesn't always give immediate returns. When you plant a rose, it doesn't blossom the next day. Love doesn't ask perfection of us. In fact, it rejoices in our imperfections as much as our strengths. It's our imperfections that give us empathy with others who are in pain and struggling with life, and empathy is very much part of love. 

Well i guess enough of my lecture and back to some thinking. What do you think? Love is easy? NOPE! Love takes time, love takes patience, love takes some thinking, love takes adjusting!

Growing Up in Dubai

Living & growing up in Dubai in the olden era (well definitely after 1985) had me thinking about a lot of things happening here. The immigration building in Deira was once the longest building in the UAE... I could see World Trade Center all the way from my little one story villa in Jumeirah along the beach road (now known as the Jumeirah Road). Al Ghurair Center was one of the only malls around. 

Hanging out with friends from school meant only a few things, either play CS!! (Counter Strike) in some small internet shop with your friends, or go bowling on SZR or watch a movie! 

Unfortunately the luxuries of all those activities were attainable for only a few. For me, fun meant something different while growing up. It meant spending more time with my dad, helping around my mom and being a (quite literally) "home" boy. 

Life as you know it now in Dubai, was quite different then. I was quite different then, simply untouched by the materialism in those days, i would find pleasure in little things. I would be happy if i got a nice ink pen for my birthday from my parents. I would be happen when i got a nice book to read as a gift. I would be happy with a new pencil case. Things changed, upon getting into university at Penn State, i believed my future had changed for the better. Dubai had evolved, so had i. Dubai was on the verge of modernization, and i was leading to a more open-minded life. Accepting who i was, who i am because my only goal for that moment. 

Who knew that the decisions i make in life, would directly affect my future? Well now it seems all realistic and logical to think that decisions you make early in life affect your future, but in the age, when you are still maturing and trying to find yourself, you tend to make decisions unknowingly and blindly. I would never regret my decision, but I do think that i could have taken more wiser choices, if given a chance again. 

Who knew that a small dot in in the world map would one day become a world renown tourist destination?

That is the old SZR... miss the times when going from point A to point B in Dubai wasn't such a headache! Miss the times when making a personal decision wasn't such a task!!